Let Your Light Shine.|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
[ << Previous 20 ]
[ << Previous 20 ]
|Thursday, October 12th, 2006|
|Holy sweet mother of pearl!!!
Just before 4:40pm today it started to snow!! I looked outside and there was all this wet snow just
It was incredible!
I even called snow this morning. I knew it! I could feel it in the air. It had that crisp cool bitterness that often begs for the white stuff.
Oh man what a GLORIOUS day!!!!
|Monday, August 28th, 2006|
|No shit about "old habits"
I find myself reverting back to old habits. Not that I made any real significant changes in my life since I've been home, however, I'm becoming comfortable with my day in and day out routine. And in my own experience I find that once I get familiar with this routine, it makes it that much more difficult to get out. The longer I stay, the farther I am from where I want to be. Not that I know where I want to be. I literally have no idea. I suppose that is why when the thought of staying in Turks and Caicos floated through my mind, I was actually contemplating the move. That would have been such a trip- and so unlike me to do something that adventurous, that spontaneous. But again, what would I do there? Work in a bar? I don't drink and I'm sure being around drunk people every night would get tiresome real quick. Work as a secretary? Perhaps that would work, but pay wise I'm not so sure. But this is the time to try it all out, eh? I'm really not that young anymore. I should be far more prepared than I am right now. I should be much farther along shouldn't I? Married? Kids? Working on my Masters/PHD? Career? Ah, who knows!! (And by all means, if you do know, please spill the beans!)
Even though I said I wouldn't, I've decided that this will most likely be my last attempt at completing my degree. I've sent away my application to take my final half credit through correspondence, and if that fails, then I'll attempt one at UofT. I'm hoping the correspondence goes through because that means I can work both days at one job and then nights with my current job. I don't feel too confident about the whole thing, but my fingers are crossed.
Is it just me, or does anyone else have issues with the word "bye"? To me it just seems so final. So forever. As in "I'll never see you again, so good-bye." The word literally makes me cringe sometimes...
I'm going to (maybe) post some pictures in a 'Friends Only' post (if I'm feeling brave) in the next few days so stay tuned for those (unless I chicken out)....
|Monday, August 21st, 2006|
A quick update.
1. I have a half credit to go until I'm finished. As I've said before its in science which is not good. I have some major thinking to do. I'll either get the last credit, find a full time job and get the credit when I have time be it right away or in a few years, or move away and completely forget about that darn credit. But more on this later...
2. I just got back from an AMAZING 10 days in Turks and Caicos. But again, more on that later...
Things are changing, changing, changing, and I feel like a whole new spirit. I actually feel happy....
And now a Friends Only post....
|Friday, May 5th, 2006|
|One to go.
I have 19/20 credits. I honestly can't believe I am only a credit away from finally graduating. When I first started university I thought for sure it'd be like my high school experience in the sense that after a few years I'd be "over" the whole experience and finish early. This has clearly not been the case as it's been five years. I was so close to walking out and never going back when I first started. But I stuck with it because I knew that if I gave up so soon I'd never go back. On one hand I'm glad I'll have my diploma. But on the other hand I can't help but wonder if attending school only pushed me back further. Like it stalled me in some way....
....but let me not get ahead of myself! I still have two courses to take and one of them will be the dreaded science credit. :::shudders:::
I just hope I am approved to take the science credit through correspondence. Otherwise....
I am kinda bored with this whole LJ. Or at least with mine. I never feel like posting. However, I do LOVE reading everyone's journals. I like to *listen* in and see what people are up to. I like being privy to what others have to say, and to what others are doing. So while I may not be posting, I am still reading.
|Tuesday, April 11th, 2006|
|Polygamy? Check. Detective work? Check. Vitamin A? Check. Cardiovascular? Check.
I have an exam on Thursday. So not prepared. I also have an essay due Thursday. Again, so not prepared. I have decided that it is virtually impossible for me to finish both these items so I will suck it up and take the late penalty for my essay.
Some random loves
at the moment:
1. Big Love
. The new tv series on HBO and airing on The Movie Network (in Canada). I thought a show about polygamy was kinda weird and not my thing, but then I heard that Ginnifer Goodwin (from Win A Date With Tad Hamilton, Mona Lisa Smile, and as the rumours go current GF of Topher Grace) was starring in the show and I just think she is the cutest thing ever so I decided to give it a chance. Plus, there are also 3 actors from Veronica Mars
on Big Love -Amanda Seyfried, Kyle Gallner, and Tina Majorino.
2. Veronica Mars
. More people should be watching this show. Seriously. And after last weeks reference to Dirty Dancing (by Logan!), I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that I have reverted to a 12 year old fangirl. Not to mention THE
dance scene of 2006. Oh man. :::starts fanning herself:::
It was some hot stuff.
3. Frozen fruit
. I was at Loblaws the other day and bought a bag of frozen fruit. I can't remember the name but it starts with an "E" and the bag is all colourful. It includes, grapes, peaches, strawberries, and melon. It is soooo good. The grapes and strawberries taste especially good when still a little frozen.
. My legs love it. My heart loves it. And it just makes me feel good and 'clear'. I just wish I was able to go much farther and faster. I am a s...l...o..w.......poke.
|Thursday, March 30th, 2006|
|Another post which may or may not make sense.
I was going to write yet another post about my worry with school and paying back loans. I was even going to use the word "survival" to describe my situation. But then I realized that it would all seem so silly in the grand scheme of things. No matter what happens in life, no matter how many loans I have to pay back, no matter how many personal struggles I endure, I already am surviving. But more importantly I am doing more than just surviving. I am living.
This is going to sound morbid, but some days when I am anxious and feeling scared (for no real reason, but usually I am thinking about death) all I have to do is say to myself, "It's okay. I am happy." Would I really want to die? Of course not! But those few words calm me down and make me feel that things will really be okay- no matter what happens. I may have never been in true love, I may not have had kids, I may not have experienced all the things in life that people typically associate with "happiness". However, nothing makes me happier than running through the empty park while looking out at the lake, watching two strangers on the subway converse as if they're old friends, watching a young child laugh with all their innocence, and being outside during winter's first snowfall. It is these things that I think about. It is the way that certain music, books, and movies, evoke a feeling so indescribable, so warm, and so safe. It's remembering those I love that at the end of the day makes all of this "okay".
I may not fully understand who I am, and where I'm going, but with each new day comes another day to discover, to learn, to appreciate, to love, -simply put, to live.
Thank you for my life.
|Monday, March 20th, 2006|
|I wear sweatpants but I like fashion.
So I have decided that being 24 is okay.
I have also decided that I must learn to sew.
I probably have watched one too many 'Project Runway' episodes.
Perusing ebay for machines I go...
|Sunday, March 12th, 2006|
I am 24 today.
Not quite sure how I feel about that.
Too busy writing an essay.
|Tuesday, March 7th, 2006|
|dreaming beyond the limitation
I was being creepy the other day googling the names of people I went to high school with. It's really quite fascinating to see what people are up to.
A rower. A researcher. A broadway performer. Graduate studies.
But at the same time it makes me realize just how little I have accomplished. Not that I need to be a rower, a researcher, or a broadway star to validate my existence. I just never would have thought that at almost
24 I would be lacking direction and focus.
I think my problem is I haven't been dreaming beyond the limitations that I place upon myself.
So I guess here's my chance to do something about that. Go big or go home, right? (Well not really because even the little goals count.)
I'm such a dreamer though....
P.s. I forgot how good food tastes when your high.
|Friday, February 24th, 2006|
|My stomach pains. Mayo never a good idea.
I've been obsessed with the Olympics. I've probably watched parts of every event they've had this year. I find myself waking up and sitting on my couch for a good couple of hours, while I watch the CBC broadcast. I have to say, I am quite impressed with CBC. I can watch the events happening in real time instead of having to wait until the evening to watch a taped Olympics, like NBC. With CBC you get the best of both worlds. I can watch the events live on CBC and/or I can watch it pretaped in the evening. But with NBC all you get is the evening broadcast. I was surprised that even on the weekend NBC didn't play more events live. I would think a Sunday morning would be a great time to watch the Olympics...apparently NBC doesn't think so. The only thing I watched on NBC was the women's figure skating. And that was beacuse I wanted to watch their dramatic little interview pieces that they do on the various athletes. Oh man I love those. I'm a sucker for 'em.
But soon it will be time to bid adieu to the Olympics....
But not before I watch the 4 man bobsleigh!!
Sanka Coffie: "The key elements to a successful sled team are a steady driver, and three strong runners to push the sled down the ice." ICE? Ice?
Derice Bannock: Well, it's kind of a winter sport.
Sanka Coffie: You mean winter, as in ice?
Derice Bannock: Kind of.
Sanka Coffie: You mean, as in penguins and Eskimos and igloos and ICE?
Derice Bannock: Maybe.
Sanka Coffie: See you, mon.
|Saturday, February 11th, 2006|
|A late paper. And a found paper.
I'm procrastinating. As usual. I had an essay due on on the 9th, but I'm no where near putting together a coherent paper. I just don't understand the topic. I'm slapping all these quotes together hoping to just fill my pages so I can submit it on Monday. I just really don't care about this paper anymore. (Well, that's a lie. I want to pass at least.) To be honest, I'm also a little over
school right now. I've dropped one of my courses and I've only been to one class once
. I got like this in high school too. By about grade 11 I was starting to get antsy and just wanted a change. So I switched schools for my OAC (grade 13) year and finished half a semester early. You'd think that someone who only has to complete 2 credits to get her diploma would be motivated to work hard! But I just can't seem to find the motivation anywhere....
To change the topic....I love those relaxing mornings when I have no school or work and I can wake up at my leisure, sit on my couch, and read the paper. On Saturday's I always leave the 'Homes' and 'Condos' section for last (because they are my favourite). Only I couldn't find the 'Condo' section so my Saturday morning just didn't feel complete. So then I rummaged through the paper again and finally found the 'Condo' section. And I literally smiled and said a little "yay" and sat back on my couch and read my condo section. Ahhhh....it was bliss. (I seriously need a hobby.)
My goal to lose weight? Yeah, not happening. Instead I find myself purchasing Chips Ahoy Rainbow Chocolate Chip cookies. And I eat them by the bags. Yes, plural. No kidding. I think I've consumed about 4 bags in the past week-and-a-half. I did purchase some long t-shirts that would fit me a whole lot better if I lost some weight. Maybe they'll serve as some inspiration. Plus, I want to get my angel tattoo. But the thought of having to expose my fatty back isn't sitting well with me. I did do some free weights the other day including some bicep curls and some other movements which I no doubt made up myself. Would it be crazy of me to say that after only using those 8lb weights twice that I feel stronger? Maybe all that extra testosterone in my body from PCOS will help me get stronger and give me definition. Of course, I have to lose layer upon layer of fat first. I remain hopeful. I usually am despite what it may appear.
Well now that it is 8:08 pm I should get back to my paper. Especially if I want to watch Poker and Veronica Mars(!!) in less than an hour. I'm becoming the biggest fangirl when it comes to VM. I'm talking Dawson's Creek proportions! (Don't lie. You know you watched The Creek too.)
|Wednesday, February 1st, 2006|
|I was tagged.
Four jobs I’ve had
Old Navy sales associate (my first 'real' job, as in Gov't took taxes from me)
House Cleaner (tedious, but it paid more than Old Navy)
Cat/House Sitter (I did that in the summer for a few years in High School)
Babysitter (I'm sure we all were)Four movies I can watch over & over
National Lampoons Christmas VacationFour places I’ve lived
House #1,2,3,7,8 in Scarborough.
House #4,5,6 in the Beach (Toronto).
Brooklin, ON (when I visit my dad).
Residence at Brock University, St. Catharines.Four TV shows I love
Oprah Four places I’ve vacationed
Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Puerto Plata, Domincan Republic
The US (Boston, Buffalo, Ohio, etc)Four of my favourite dishes
Jerk Chicken with Peas and Rice
Corn on the cob
Chicken Soulvaki on a PitaFour sites I visit daily
Google (Like all the time! I look up random stuff)
MLS.com (I like to see what's new on the real estate market)
Newinhomes.com (I like to look at floorplans -man I'm differentFour places I’d rather be right now
Someplace where there is a fantastic ski resort so that I can learn how to snowboard.
With my family.
Hanging out with my cousins like back in the day.
(But being here right now is pretty rad too.)
Now go do it too!! I tag EVERYONE.
|Friday, January 27th, 2006|
|Thursday, January 26th, 2006|
|The cabbie a tambourine man.
I met my mum after class last night and we walked around the mall. We then went to get some jerk chicken and hailed a cab to go home. Well, as we get in, the cab driver tells us to pick a CD we want to listen to because he can tell alot about a person by the music that they pick. So the cabbie hands me his case of CD's and I flip through them. He has The Beatles, ABBA, Bob Dylan, The Bryds, etc. So I pick Bob Dylan. We then all jerk forward as he almost hits a pedestrian (he was like thisclose
), and claims it was because of a blind spot (it was just a regular turn). So he turns on Dylan and starts singing. He then starts to tell us random facts about Dylan and how Dylan is the second Messiah and how he saw him play in concert in Toronto about 30 years. Then all of a sudden, out of no where, the MAN PULLS OUT A TAMBOURINE AND STARTS TO PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh, it was the funniest thing ever. When we passed a cop car, he quickly put the tambourine down and said that cops don't like it when you "play and drive". Then when we got stuck behind a streetcar, he mentioned something about "The Steetcar Named Desire not going anywhere". The cab driver then got us to listen to 'Mr. Tambourine Man' and then when that song ended he asked us to compare it with the remake by The Byrds. (We all chose Bob Dylan's version as the better version).
The Tambourine though. Oh man. That was just the icing on the cake.
|HBC and tattoo
HBC has been bought. :( :::crosses fingers it doesn't suffer same fate as Simpsons and Eatons:::
I also got my tattoo on Wednesday. I'm quite pleased. It's small and simple- just what I was looking for. I also received my camera on Tuesday. Digital cameras are so rad. I've been missing out all these years. I've already filled up my PC with tons of pictures of my cat, my cat, videos of my cat, and some more pictures of my cat. I've tried to take some pictures of my dove but they are blurry...maybe you can't take clearer pictures with a 4.1mp camera? Or maybe you can, I just haven't figured out the appropriate lighting, distance, etc., which gives the best images. ( non-crisp photos of my wrist...Collapse )
I watched Oprah today (she had author James Frey of 'Million Little Pieces' on to talk about the controversy) and she was annoying me a little. She kept saying how "embarrassed" she was. Oprah can be all hoity-toity sometimes. For example, when she was interviewing the couple who gave their son a stripper for his 16th Birthday Party, I found Oprah to be somewhat rude. The couple admit they made a mistake, they went to jail for their actions, they have been ostracized by their town, and as a result have lost work because of it (I think the husband was a painter). Anway, I just got the sense that Oprah forgot that she too once made mistakes in her life.
|Sunday, January 22nd, 2006|
|Tomorrow is V-Day. Vote Day!!
I love Michael Moore. Why? Beacause of THIS!
I've also decided that Jon Stewart is a pretty funny guy. HERE
he talks about the upcoming Canadian election. (Original air date, January 19, 2006)
|Wednesday, January 11th, 2006|
|Our house is old.
Our hot water is back on. The guy reset it (or whatever) yesterday and right now two guys are taking out the old one and putting in a new water heater. The other one? Well it was 18 years old. Gah!
Lately I've been trying to figure out how old my house is. When we moved into the house, the inspector estimated that it was built around the 1920s, which is awesome if it's true. I love being in old homes. They just feel like a home
with it's character and its history.
|Tuesday, January 10th, 2006|
|boiling water not only for sterialization purposes.
We have no heat. And we have no hot water. What a day. Our furnace (which may actually be close to 40 years old- or so we've been told) has been shutting off every few hours. This morning when I woke up it was off, making the air quite chilly. We can restart the furnace but apparently you aren't supposed to do that too many times. And now for some strange reason we have no hot water. The taps are icy cold. Brrrr
. We have some people coming to look at out water heater but not until after
I leave for work. Which means I will be boiling water in all the pots and pans we have in order to have a shower. I just hope the heat stays on and doesn't shut off. No one likes getting out of the shower into a chilly room. Not that my pouring water from pots and pans all over me is anything like a shower. But it will have to do...
You know how I like to procrastinate? Well, I have less than 24hrs to read War and Peace
. Ah yes, War and Peace is about 1500 pages. It's all good.
Looks like my boiling water is ready...time to shower!! (oh man)
|Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006|
|Happy New Year!
The "diet" will start any day now. I'm almost sure of it. Oh. And so will the running. I really should get a move on. Especially since my cousins and I are planning a trip to visit our other cousin down south where the weather is warm and shorts and tank tops are necessary. I really don't see how financially I'll be able to afford this trip and even if I did part of me thinks that that money would be better spent paying down my credit cards. But I know if I don't go, people will make it a big deal and internalize things. But really, it has nothing to do with you
and more with wanting to get out of debt as quickly as possible. Okay...so that may not be entirely true. I am absolutely terrified of flying. The last time I was on an airplane was almost 10 years ago and it was a flight to Nova Scotia. Just thinking about being on a small *cheap* flight for a few hours and then taking another plane for another few hours or so makes me anxious. But back to reality. Since we are planning this trip for the middle of May, this leaves only a few months to save. Things don't look so good for me and my bank account. Not only that, but I still have one more $600 course to pay for. Some people just don't realize that not all of us are able to borrow money. Plus, the last thing I want to do is owe even more people money. Ah well, if it happens it happens. If not, then it'll be another disappointment by yours truly. :::rollseyes:::
Personal Goals for 2006:
(I'm a bad ass mutha who won't take no crap from nobody!)
1. Lose weight. (Durr. But really, just eat better and be more active. I've talked so much about this. Ideally I still have at least 25lbs but if I could lose closer to 35-45 that would be even WAY better.)
2. Graduate!!!!! (a July or November ceremony will do.)
3. Job. (In something that I am interested in. Plus, if I could keep two jobs going that would be even better.)
I have tons more. But these three will suffice as my *public* goals.
|Friday, December 30th, 2005|
|that's just the way it is...things will never be the same...
...Tupac said it. We gotta make a change...
It's time for us as a people to start making some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do what we gotta do,
I was rummaging through one of my mum's drawers and found an old tape that I had made. It's mostly my voice reading, singing, playing the piano, and a few songs taped from the radio. It is a tape I made for Coco. Side A begins: Hello Coco. [clears throat] Well I just wanted to tell you this, um [clears throat] I miss you.
And then I go on reading a story about Clifford the Big Red Dog and his birthday party. I must have been about 5 or 6 years old because I still had that little kid accent...you know the one where you sound slightly English and you pronounce words like "party" as "potty". The tape then goes to me slightly older at 10 years old, just a few months before my 11th birthday (I know this because I mention the date as being January 23, 1993).
Listening to the tape reminds me that I was such a strange child who experienced something that I kept hidden for many years...probably knowing full well that no one would believe me. Plus, how do you describe something like that to your mum and dad when you can't really explain it yourself? One day I'd like to write a story about it...I just wish I was able to write in a way that could truly capture what I saw and how I felt some 16 years ago....
Anyway, I hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Years!!